TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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