Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
