She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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