I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Small penises have feelings too.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Man, jail baloney is awful.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
