Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
