Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
