Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize