If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
