i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize