Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
