i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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