Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The best revenge is premature balding
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize