5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
