The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Drunk is a universal language darling
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
