The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
