I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
