why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
