i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
