At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
