I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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