so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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