in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
