She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
