bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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