walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I did not marry a roomba.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
