Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
