Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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