Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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