Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
