If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
