awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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