Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Quick, to the slutcave!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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