im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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