I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
