You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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