In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
