physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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