Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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