we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
