And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
