I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
