I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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