i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
