Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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