That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
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i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
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"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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