I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
