You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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