Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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