He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
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There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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