I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
