i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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