wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
