Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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