Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
