four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
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I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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