hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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