Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
