The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
