kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
