Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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